t h e s p a c e b e t w e e n u s
by dawn in the fields
Summary: cause the worst way to miss someone is when they're right beside you and yet you know you can't have them. [Axiku][For Sherry]


disclaimer: I have no idea what you're talking about. what is this 'disclaimer' you speak of?  
warning: the usual(meaning bad writing, etc--what I say in nearly every fic), language  
music: Bokutachi no Yukue, Hitomi Takahashi  
Dedication: for you, Sherry, for you. ;D

* * *

Riku sits beside Axel everyday.

Every single _fucking day_ of this school year, in every single class that Axel has—it makes sense, because all of Riku's other friends (they're Axel's friends too, of course—something would just be plain _off _if Riku and Axel were friends but Sora and Axel or Roxas and Axel or Kairi and Axel weren't, they're just too _nice_ for that to happen) are in different classes (—Sora, Kairi, Roxas, and the rest) but sometimes Axel wishes that Riku would move away because he's making it too hard for Axel to think now.

It drives Axel crazy at times, and at other times he wonders how he can get through the school year without jumping him behind the gym building. It takes almost all of what he is to stop himself, at times, but he's lucky that Riku is an _oblivious idiot_ and doesn't notice the micromanagement going on inside Axel's head.

But one day, _one day_ out of the entire school year, Riku isn't there and it drives Axel into a frenzy, because he's always thinking that the next person who comes in the door is going to be Riku, or maybe the one after that or the next one—

But it isn't, and Riku never comes through that door with a late slip in his hand which leaves just Axel alone in the classroom and he's trying _not_ to think about what might have happened to him. Trying _not _to think that maybe he was caught in a car-crash (again, wasn't there that one car that clipped him in the back with a side mirror?). Trying _not _to think that maybe he got sick (again, didn't he get the flu earlier on that year?). Trying _not _to think that maybe he got killedrobbedmurderedkidnapped.

And so, as soon as school lets out, he rushes to find Sora and Kairi and the rest of his friends and their friends and everyone's friends (high school's a huge happy family between them all; he's lucky to have found a group to settle in with). Sora isn't there though, so he settles for the next best thing; Roxas.

So yeah, Axel asks Roxas where Riku is. The answer, thankfully, is one of the better scenarios that Axel _didn't_ spend time imagining up in history or latin or art or gym or music. (of _course_ he didn't, Axel has better things to focus on, like the notes on the sheet music in front of him or the war of 1812 or drawing still life or shooting basketballs correctly or verb conjugations or Riku being too sick to move—shit.)

And Axel rushes over to Riku's house, determined to see how the other's doing, but he's thrown for a loop (or maybe two--) when Riku's mother greets him amiably and makes an offhand comment about "all the visitors that Riku's getting today, first that other young man and now you."

Axel's surprised (rather surprised, Riku gets more visitors than Axel thought he would—he must get around, but he shakes it off as nothing (it's gotta be nothing, right...?) and goes upstairs to find Riku's room—he knows where it is vaguely from memory (he went over to Riku's house once, for a science—they flunked it due to "not enough research," but it was fun anyways).

So he knocks on the door to Riku's room (this is his room, right? Axel's pretty sure he's right, it looks familiar enough and he _thinks_ he can recognize that chip on the corner from before). A voice calls to come in, so he opens the door and starts chatting amiably.

(Hey Riku, I heard you were sick so I came to see—)

But then the sight that meets your eyes _isn't_ one of the best scenarios you _didn't_ spend all day imagining up (who _are_ you kidding, of course you spent all day worrying. it's in your nature to do that, but you don't show it to save face. you worry all the time, but most of the time about others, or maybe just about Riku.).

Sora.

Sora, stupid Sora with his brown hair and blue eyes that's sitting right next to Riku, just on the _other_ side of friendly and neither's complaining. It's not that you have anything against Sora himself, it's just that you _know_ Riku's never going to fall for you (like you ever had a chance in the first place, you're just the person he sits beside every class of the day. it's tough luck, but it's the way life works), because you just play second fiddle to Sora and his radiance.

So you quickly change your sentence (hey Riku, I heard you were sick so I came to check up on you—), shut the door and leave quietly, quietly—it's like you weren't there in the first place. You can feel the confusion radiating out of Riku's room, but you disregard it and leave, leave to think things over and figure some things out—you desperately need to, because the world you've known for the past few months has just been twirled around and dumped up-side-down today, and you feel like you deserve the time to yourself. Riku's mother looks at your oddly, but you ignore her and go back home, home where there's nothing to bother you except late bedtimes and the music blasting out of your speakers. Homework is overrated, you tell yourself—it can wait until tomorrow.

The next day at school in the first class of the day (French, was it?) of the almost last day of the week, Riku's back and well and seemingly fine as always (isn't he always? always perfect, that Riku is. it's in his genetics, you theoretize offhandedly) and _still sitting next to you_ but you know now that you can't have him (it's the way the world works, it's the way it's worked out against you, and you wonder why _Sora_ lucked out too) and it's the _worst way to miss someone_—

—and you can't help but hope that he'll change his mind someday.

- - - t h e s p a c e b e t w e e n u s . . .

* * *

totally for Sherry because she helped with the pairing and I stole the quote off her DP. xD

part 6/7 of the anime north countdown.

next will be (hopefully) Sakuline vol. II. If I can get it done it time. xD;;

thanks for sticking along!

edit: (12/05/07) rewritten to flesh it out a little. Okay, so the word count more than doubled. whatever. xD thanks for reading!

-namikun


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